Chapter Seventeen - America

​Indy’s calling me because of course she is. We’re best friends who speak daily most of the time. Except when I’m hiding something. Like the fact that I’m quitting my doctorate. Oh and the whole fucking her ex thing.
God forgive me. Indy probably won’t.
Gray clears his throat as he slips his hand from the front of my panties. “You should answer it.”
How am I supposed to answer her call and not give away my guilt when I’m still straddling Gray’s lap? How do I make small talk and pretend everything is fine when he turned into a statue the moment he saw who was calling me?
“Do you need me to do it for you?” His voice is rusted, dark. His heart is still broken, and he hates her for it.
He reaches for my phone and I lunge to pick it up first. My hand shakes as I hover my thumb over the red circle. The sound cuts out. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”
A message comes through almost instantly. Then another.
“Look at it,” he orders. “I don’t mind. She’s your best friend. It could be important.”
I bite my lip as I peel the screen away from my chest and open her text. It’s a picture because of course it is. She loves Theo so much. She takes so many selfies. The biggest, cheesiest smiles stretch across both their faces as they stand in front of what looks like a batting cage only with a wooden target on the back wall.
 
Indy: Awesome double date idea for when you finally introduce us to your HE. That way I can pull out the old if you hurt my friend line…
 
“Double date?” Gray snorts and there’s no humor in it. His palms flatten on the leather seat. “So you’ve already told her about Everett.”  
“No.” But she did send me that image of the two of us outside Bambino’s. “Yes. A little. That’s not the point. She knows there’s someone. She doesn’t know it’s you.”
“You’ve told her about me?”
“She noticed the hickey you left on my neck. I had to tell her something.”
“And that’s why she’s planning a double date.  Me and that prick in the same room… you know that’s never going to happen without me giving him a black eye. And Indy…”
The euphoria from my orgasm evaporates. He hates her because he’s still in love with her. And he hates Theo because he’s the one who Indy chose.
I’m the one allowing myself to pretend that Gray and I could be more. That he could have feelings for me instead of my best friend. I ease off him, surreptitiously adjust my underwear and smooth my dress. “I know. I—”
“You should tell her that you’ll bring Everett.” His expression is devoid of emotion as he discreetly fixes his pants. “He’s dying to move you back home.”
I already told him that I wasn’t planning on seeing Everett anymore. I thought that was what he wanted too. My heart sinks. “But I—”
“What are you hoping to find here with me?” He straightens and snatches up his beer. It spills over his fingers as he lifts it to his lips and swallows. “I warned you—”
“How long are you going to hold onto her?” I toss my phone in my purse.
“I’m clearly not holding onto her at all.” He slams the glass down. “She’s with him.”
“I know that. I’m the one who was riding your cock just now. In public,” I hiss at him. “I’m the one willing to settle for my best friend’s scraps. I’m such an idiot.”
“America.”
I stand. “I need to go before I say something I’ll regret.”  
“America.” He leaps to his feet. “I told you how it was. I can’t just switch my feelings for her on and off. I wish I could.”
“I’m not asking you to. I don’t expect that. I thought I could do this.” I shake my head. “But I think I’m fooling myself.”
My eyes prickle with emotion by the time I make it to the exit, but like hell will I let my feelings get the best of me when I’ve kept them under lock and key for so long.
He grabs my arm as I reach the pavement. Hauls my back to his chest. “I’m sorry, Rica. I’m so sorry.”
“So am I.” I tug my arm free.
“I’ve been thinking of her less and less since Positano. The more time I spend with you the less it hurts in here.” He grabs my hand before I can walk away and places it over his heart. “That has to mean something, doesn’t it?”
My heart skips a beat.
“I don’t want you with Everett. Thinking about him touching you makes me want to punch him.” He brings me back to his chest. His hand settles on my nape. His voice is full of emotion. “Thinking about touching you has me obsessed. Can that be enough for you, Rica?”
Right now it’s enough. My heart won’t let it not be.
I lift up on tiptoes and press my lips to his. “It’s enough.”
“Come back to the hotel with me,” he says when we break apart.
“Okay.” I smile.
With a hand to the small of my back he ushers me into a taxi. Closing the door, he calls out the address for the driver and then pulls me into his side. Maybe it isn’t forever, and his affections might never be as strong as mine, but I couldn’t quit this giddy, golden feeling if I tried.
“I’d give you head if the driver couldn’t see us,” I whisper in his ear as we’re whizzing through city traffic.
He groans as my hand creeps up his thigh. He covers it with his bigger one. “You keep that up, you’ll be in trouble when we reach our destination.”
“Stern Gray is my favorite, just so you know,” I say in a voice that leaves no room for misinterpretation.
“Good to know.” He smiles wickedly.
“I wasn’t expecting you to be so dirty,” I admit. “Or so bossy.”
A skitter of awareness wrinkles his brow. “She told you things, didn’t she?”
“We talked. Women talk.”
“I see.” His eyes darken. “Go on. What did she say?”
“She said you were sweet. Considerate. That you were really good with your tongue.”
The taxi driver sniggers.
“Am I?”
“I…” feel bad that I’ve brought her up. That the only words I can think to use are sweet and considerate when my time with him needs much more expressive words like filthy and addictive. “Wouldn’t say that.”
“Oh?” He raises a brow. “So I’m not good with my tongue?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
He smirks.
It’s like a weight has been lifted off me. “You’re not mad?”
“About you not thinking I’m doing a good enough job?” He turns my hand over and curls our fingers together. “I’m going to rectify that as soon as we get to the hotel.”
My clit pulses. Attempting to ease the sudden influx of heat between my thighs, I cross my legs. I’m still dripping.
“If we’re going to see each other I can’t see how I can possibly expect you not to ever mention her,” he says. “She calls you every day, I bet. Like she always did. I might not want her in my life, but she’s your best friend. I’ll find a way to be okay with that.”
“It’s her loss, you know.” I grab his jaw and lock eyes with him. She wasn’t right for him. She needed to throw out the plan and learn to live. Being faced with her mortality just pushed her to make the move sooner rather than later.
He needs someone who will appreciate those parts of him that aren’t so considerate and sweet. Those filthy pieces that make me want more and more and more. Someone who appreciates how far he’ll go for the people he cares about, even when it’s frustrating.
“I can’t be sorry about that when it means you’re mine.” Even if a part of me feels guilty for finding something for myself in their heartbreak.
He goes still. “Yours, huh?”
My breath catches. Calling him that… it’s too much like admitting how much I care about him.
His eyes crinkle in the corner. His lips curve. He leans forward and brushes his lips over mine. “I’m not mad about that, you possessive little minx.”
The cab pulls up outside the hotel and Gray pays the driver while I step out onto the pavement.
He climbs out behind me and places his hand on the small of my back as we head inside. “She never struck me as someone who would appreciate all the things I was into, but I didn’t think it mattered. It wasn’t about sex. I loved her and her plan for our future. It would have been enough.”
“Would it?”
“I thought so…” He presses his key card to the scanner in the elevator and the box starts to rise. “But I’m not so sure anymore. I was in love, and I thought we were happy, but… if we were that in love and that happy then she wouldn’t have fallen in love with him. He would never have gotten between us.”
“I’m sorry.”
His shoulders rise and fall. “I also wouldn’t be having the best sex of my life with you. And that would have been a damn shame.”
“Well… my ego thanks you.” I rock on my heels, unable to keep my smile from taking over my face. “That’s quite a compliment.”
“I mean it.” He crowds me back against the wall. With a hand pressed against the wall above my head he leans in and trails a knuckle down my neckline. “Are you still dripping with my cum?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He growls as he presses a button that forces the elevator to halt abruptly. Falling to his knees, he pushes my dress up my thighs, his lips caressing my skin, inch by revealed inch. “I should really clean that up.”
His hands skim up the outside of my legs, his fingers curl in the waistband of my panties and drag them down.
My breath hitches. I’m so sensitive that the movement of the material creates electricity on my skin, but that’s nothing compared to the sensation of his tongue rasping up my thigh. “What are you doing?”
“Tasting you.” He kisses the spot he’s licked. “Tasting me.” He grips the back of my thighs and opens me up so that he has access to my pussy. His tongue there makes my knees almost give. “Tasting us. We’re fucking incredible.”
He drives his tongue into me, eating me like a starving man. Warming every inch of me with slow, maddening swipes.
It’s filthy and sexy and I can’t get enough of him on his knees for me. I curl my fingers in his hair and hold him to me. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
“Do you really think I have that kind of willpower when you’re squirming on my tongue and your orgasm is so close?” He groans as he digs his tongue in deeper, licking every trace of his cum from my pussy. “Your pleasure is everything to me. I need it. Give it to me.”
“Oh God.” When he puts it like that…
Sucking my clit between his lips, he slips two fingers inside me and strokes that sensitive spot deep inside. It sends me crashing into a mind shattering orgasm.
Easing his fingers out of me as I collapse against the wall, he straightens to his full height. His gaze burns hot as he sucks the remnants of my arousal from his digits while I adjust my panties back into position.
“That was…” No words. With Indy he was a good man. Sweet. Considerate. Gentle. Not this feral, wicked man in front of me. But God, this man… this man I would let do anything to me that he wanted.
He grins—his lips shining and puffy— as he starts the elevator moving again. “I’ll take that as I’ve proven myself.”
“Mmm.” My breath is still coming in pants. My grin is as wide as his. I grab his face and taste myself on him. “You’re right. We do taste incredible.”
“Exquisite.” He slips his tongue into my mouth and kisses me hard, his body pressing against mine with no shame over how much he wants me. “But now all I want to do is fill you all over again.” 

Chapter Eighteen - Gray

​“Then do it.” She pushes away from the wall as the doors part onto the deserted floor, but then makes sure her hand brushes my erection as she stretches up to whisper in my ear. “Make me dirty. Make me drip. You like knowing you’ve marked your territory.”
A feral sound rises up my throat. The little tease has my cock in a vice-like grip with her words as she sashays out of the elevator.
She glances in both directions. “Which way is your room?”
“This way.” I take her hand and lead her down the passageway at a fast clip that she has to hurry to keep up with.
Impatient, I take out my door card and press it against the scanner while she slips her hands into my pants pockets from behind and does a reach around grab at my cock. Opening the door, I tug her inside and straight to the bedroom.
My fingers catch the hem of her dress and drag it up over her beautiful curves. She lifts her arms to the sky and then pulls them down when I have the material over her head. Reaching for her panties she wriggles them down her gorgeous thighs and lets them puddle on the floor.
“Place your hands on the end of the bed, Rica.” My need is urgent, animalistic, and pounding in my blood.
Using her hands for support the way I told her to, she bends over and gives me a view of her pussy while I shed my clothes. It’s a beautiful sight. The need to fuck her until she can’t take another drop is all I can think about.
“Fuck, you’re going to be so filthy by the time I’m done with you.” Gripping her hips, I line up and thrust deep. She takes me so well and so easily. All the way to the hilt.
A little moan accompanied by her squeezing me makes my eyes roll back. I let self-control dwindle, fucking her hard and fast until those moans are orgasmic screams and my climax overtakes me.
My cock loses some of it’s rigidity, but not enough for me to stop fucking her, though I gentle my movements. If we had a toy I would use it on her while I wait to be ready to go again, but since we don’t I reach around and play with her clit while I push my cum deeper inside her with each roll of my hips.
“What are you doing, Gray?” She moans as she turns her head for my kiss. “You came. I came.”
“And we’ll both come again. Until this pussy can’t hold another drop. Or you tell me to stop.” I angle my hips to hit better.
“Don’t… stop.”
“Not going to.” Harsh breaths act as punctuation. “I just need a couple minutes. Before I’ll be ready.”
“God, you really are dirty.” She whimpers as she moves down onto her elbows.
I scoop up some of her braids in my fist and hold onto them as the blood begins to pound back into my dick. A few minutes later her cheeks are clapping against my hips as I drive us both toward the brink of one more orgasm.
A blinding, toe cramping climax builds in my balls and the base of my cock. The ripple of her pussy around me sets me off like a bottle rocket. I pump her full of hot jets of my cum.
Lightheaded and slightly unbalanced, I ease out of her. She brims over with my cum. I push it back inside with two fingers. “You look so fucking sexy like this. Overflowing with my cum. Filthy.”
Perfect. A sight I could never get used to because she is so beautiful, but a sight I want to see over and over again. Another drop seeps out and I roll my finger through it and spread it all the way to her asshole.
She pushes back at me when I massage that spot. I’ll fill that at some point too.
I thought I had it all with Indy. I thought she was my forever. But she never made my chest swell quite like this. “Crawl into bed, Rica. I’ll get something to clean you up with.”
“Just come to bed,” she says as she crawls over the mattress and under the covers. “I want to be filthy with you all night long. Especially if… will you hold me?”
“I’ll hold you.” Of course I will. I would do just about anything she asked me to.
I walk around the bed and climb in next to her. Turning off the light, I pull her back to my chest and slip my hand between her legs where I tuck two fingers back inside her.
“Is that some kind of plug? Are you plugging me with your fingers, Gray? You want to keep me all filled up?”
“I want to keep you…” I let the words derail while the thought spins out in my head. I want to keep her in my bed. I want to keep her as my friend. I want to see where this thing between us goes. How would that even work? I nuzzle my lips to her neck. “I want to keep you so fucking needy, I can take you whenever I want.”
“Like you even have to try.” She wriggles deeper into my big spoon as her breath starts to stretch out. “I’ve wanted you since I was fourteen.”
She falls asleep with my fingers plugging her pussy. And I lie there terrified to doze off. The last time I fell asleep next to her EJ woke me up, and I spent the next couple of months with her angry at me.
But it’s not EJ that bothers me. He’s at home, far away from this thing he would call a bad decision. And it isn’t because I could make America mad all over again. Though I prefer it when she likes me.
It’s that I’ll wake up thinking Indy is in my bed again. That for a moment I’ll trick myself so hard it will hurt that much more to come out of it and see America beside me.
America who—whether she meant to or not—just admitted she’s wanted me since she was fourteen. Who probably wants more of me than I have to give. And who I would never want to cause pain. 
I lie there for a long time with these thoughts going around and around in my head while America sleeps peacefully in my arms. Until my shoulder goes numb, and I can’t bear the stillness anymore.
I carefully slide my hand from between her legs before slipping out from under the covers.
“Gray?” she mumbles. Her voice is groggy and thick.
“Go back to sleep.” I press my lips to her temple. 
She burrows into the pillow as I pick up my pants and pull them on. Leaving them unbuttoned, I scrub a hand through my hair as I leave the bedroom. There’s a small table near the glass windows that lead out to a balcony, and I settle there with the view of the city lights while I boot up my laptop.
It’s much earlier in the States, though the office closed a couple of hours ago. EJ called a while ago. When I was getting the drinks at the bar. I’d shut my phone off then, but I turn it on and hover my thumb over his number.
It used to be that we were like brothers, and while I wouldn’t talk to him about intimate parts of my life, considering our entire adult life that intimacy was shared with his sister, I’d have called him to shoot the shit while working through it in the background.
I still have no compunction to share with him when it comes to America. I know his opinion on what we’re doing, and I don’t need him to reiterate it.
I call him back anyway. He has no way of knowing his cousin is taking up space in my bed.
EJ picks up the other end. “You’ve been quiet lately.”
“I’ve been busy.” I clear my throat. “With work.”
“Tell me about it.” EJ chuckles. “I’m dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s on a settlement upward of three billion dollars. This shit is not for the weak.”
“Mikey Valance’s deal with the Bears blew up. We’re scrambling to find him a new team.”
He lets out a low whistle. “Fuck.”
“Fuck is right.”
“If anyone can bring it back from the brink it’s you,” he says.
“I hope so.” I open my emails to see some of my feelers are already being returned. My bosses aren’t showing the same confidence. They’ve decided to put Crew in charge of Mikey’s contract negotiations. They don’t trust me to do the job I used to be so good at. It’s been like this since I came back. But it won’t stop me from reaching out to my contacts. Mikey’s career has to come first. Hopefully this shows my bosses that they can still trust me. “How are your parents?”
We make small talk while I write emails and check player stats. The feelers I put out for Mikey are turning up some good leads. This might actually work out in his favor. I forward a few of them to Crew. Mikey’s career and his family are more important than my ego.
EJ’s putting the final touches on the settlement that he’s presenting tomorrow.
“We’re all heading to the Dells—” He stumbles to a halt. “Shit.” 
“I’m not invited.” It’s the only reason he’s wishing he kept his mouth shut. It’s a family trip and that used to include me.
“No. That’s not… Of course you are.” Everything about the way he says it tells me that he’d rather go to the dentist and have teeth pulled than the awkwardness that would be me showing up to that trip. “It’s just… it’s to celebrate Indy’s recovery. It’s been almost a year.”
“I’m aware.” I’m aware of how long it has been since she ripped out my heart, stomped on it, and left it a beating zombie inside my chest.
“And Theo’s family lives out that way. And then there’s America and what happened in Positano. Have you seen her since you’ve been in the UK?”
I glance toward the bedroom. “No.”
“No? As in you haven’t reached out? Or no, as in she doesn’t want to see you?”
“I haven’t had the time.” I open another email from the office. I’m almost done with probation. I’ll have proved that I’m stable and trustworthy. I’ll get my client list back. And can stop worrying about whether my job is secure. My breath sticks in my throat as I stare at the words until they blur. “I’ve been too busy courting Everett Mann.”
“It’s probably for the best,” he says.
Yeah, it might be if it were true. But we’re so far past that. And there’s a good chance that I’m going to have to pay for it with my career. All-Star wants me to stay on, but only as long as I bring Mann. Without him… I won’t have a job.
“You’re still my brother. You don’t need to be dating my sister to be family.” Or dating his cousin. That part he leaves unsaid, but it’s there in the undercurrent. “Want to play some?”
“Think I’m going to log off actually.” I slump back in the chair. I suspected it would come down to something like this. But not over Mann. “Get some sleep. Next time?”
“For sure.”
Hanging up, I close my laptop too. Lumbering to my feet, I stretch as I consider going back to bed with America. She’s soft in all the right places, and smells so good.
But there are ghosts in the shadows of my mind and now, unemployment on the horizon. So I pace the living area and search for a pizza place nearby on my phone.
“Can’t sleep?” America fills the bedroom doorway when I glance up. She’s wearing my shirt. As I watch, she lifts the collar to her nose. “Is everything okay?”
Those beautiful legs, those sweet curves, those gorgeous expressive eyes are all fast becoming kryptonite. I’ll work out how to get Mann to sign. I don’t have another option. Although I wonder how much harder that will be once America tells him it’s over.
He seems to truly like her. If he realizes I had anything to do with why she no longer wants to see him he’ll no doubt be more interested in kicking my ass than signing on the bottom line.
“Hungry?” I ask as she comes to me.
Mann can be tomorrow’s problem.
“I was going to order a pizza.”
“Oh.” Her eyes light up and she rubs her hands together before pressing her fingertips to her lips. “Can we get kebabs? I know a place. It’s not far from here. They have the best garlic sauce. Oh and garlic potatoes.”
“You want garlic?” I tease. “What if I want to kiss you?”
“You’ll be as garlicky as me.” She sticks her tongue out as she disappears back into the bedroom. “And if you really don’t want to deal with my stinky garlic breath you can always get on your knees again.”
“Don’t tempt me, woman.” I prowl after her only to catch my shirt in the face.
“Should we order a ride?” she asks as she tugs on her dress.
I grab a fresh sweatshirt and hand it to her to put on over her dress. It’s gotten cooler since we were at the club earlier. “I only ended up having the one drink, so I’ll drive.”
“Okay.” She finds her heels while I dress. “I’m ready when you are.”
“I’ll grab my keys.” I follow her out.
In the elevator she wraps her arms around me and sinks against my chest. I hold onto her with a new sense of ease. We’re different now. Not just friends, but something more. Whatever more is I don’t want to run from it. I feel good around her, better. It feels like living again. I really like her. A lot.
I don’t want to hurt her at all, but especially just to keep my job.
There has to be some way to keep Mann while keeping America out of the fray.